wmdoran

@Dlweerstra To answer another question you asked that I missed in my last comment…the DNA sites will put your DNA on their own database for life. You can download your Raw Data from 23andMe and upload for free to GedMatch.com as well if you want to be there too. Hope that makes sense.

@dlweerstra I am responding to your profile update you posted that I saw on my activity feed. You wrote:

“OK still have questions regarding how to get the DNA testing done. Do I need to register my son & daughter on donorchildren.com and then order a kit for each of them after I register them? How does the kit work – do they send me d…[Read more]

@dlweerstra Thanks for commenting. Like your kids, I was conceived at a University Medical Center. The doctor died 2 years ago and he supposedly kept all the files and burned them 7 years ago with the onset of Alzheimer’s. I tested on 23andMe and found a 3rd to 4th cousin paternal match that led to me finding my father. I would be happy to…[Read more]

Think what you want but what I’m suggesting is not crazy. Here’s a recent story where the ‘donor’ father is winning rights: http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/jurisprudence/2015/02/sperm_donor_parental_rights_new_jersey_lesbian_couple_is_losing_visitation.html.

These children are so young; 1.5 and other still in womb. You’re…[Read more]

I’m offering @ellssjay an idea. It sounds like her boyfriend is interested in his children and their ‘friends’ are open to him being part of their lives. This is a pretty complicated situation, calling this man less than altruistic because he desires to be part of his children is reflective of a broken perspective of fatherhood on your part.…[Read more]

@yfactor it sounds like as a minor you were influenced or heard about sperm ‘donation’, then shortly after hit with the reality of your existence/conception. 18 is a formative age developmentally. I could see your reaction to your news to proliferate yourself but in a more altruistic way than you had been made by being ‘open’. I’m just not…[Read more]

We did get a little off topic. Thanks for commenting back @ellssjay. I’m sorry to hear the stress you are facing as part of this dysfunction. My thoughts are either way the friendship is over. Each party has expectations that are not in line with the other’s. I think the original ‘agreement’ is out the window. Is any of it on paper? Keep all…[Read more]

I guess I made wrong assumptions. Your profile says you found out at age 17 you were ‘donor’ conceived. Are you saying you ‘donated’ your sperm before 17? That doesn’t sound logical.

The way you describe this process is damage control. Minimizing contact to minimize damage. It should make sense that something that is damaging if fully known…[Read more]

You are coming from a place of belief that it is Ok to create children and families this way with third parties. I am coming from the place that it is damaging to everyone involved as @ellssjay has shared. Creating families this way is an illusion of family but there are consequences. The social parent in this case is not forcing pictures it…[Read more]

@yfactor Saying that sharing pictures can cause emotional damage goes to show that the connection between genetic parents and children is natural and strong. Children are meant to be raised by their real parents. This is a perfect example of the natural development and connection between a father and his offspring. By disassociating via name…[Read more]

@ellssjay Thanks for sharing. That is heart-breaking to read. To tell you about myself I am sperm ‘donor’ conceived. I found my father through my DNA. He sold his sperm for a decade. I likely have hundreds of siblings and have no way to contact. When I found my father the similarities were insane. Not just physical, but even my profession…[Read more]