Many thanks to all you who answered my question regarding the term you use for your sperm donor Of the four who have had some contact with your sperm donor, three use the term “father” or “biological father” and one uses either “donor” or “father.” Of the 10 who have not had contact with him, three use “father” or “biological father,” four use “donor,” and one uses both of those terms. One who uses the term “donor” firmly rejected the idea that he is the “father.” One other who had no contact uses a term I’ve never heard of before (“olday man”), which seems to be more a substitute for “donor” than for “father.” The final individual who had no contact was the only one who used anything like the term “dad” for the donor. He was initially referred to “bioded,” but when it became clear he wanted no contact the term was changed to “donor.” Most of you who grew up with a social father, someone who participated in raising you, refer to that person as “dad,” although that term can be qualified if the relationship was not close.
Generalizing from your responses, in most cases (but emphatically not in one) “father” is thought to be a purely biological relationship. In that it is similar to “donor” but probably a bit closer given that if there has been contact “donor” is almost never used while if there has been no contact “donor” is used more than “father.” It’s hard to generalize, however, because the numbers are very small. It does seem clear, however, that the term “dad” is much more a social than a biological term. It is reserved for a man who was closely involved in raising you.
Thanks again for your help. It has been very useful in my research
Allan Hanson
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