I am a mother to 2 DC adults. They are 28 and 31 now. We told them when my son was 12 and daughter was 9. We made it clear to them that their “dad” was their “real father” and loved them very much, but they had the right to know about their biological fathers, too. I am not sure how I would handle it with a 5-year-old. What I did before we felt they were ready to understand was: I wrote it all down in a loving letter to each of them explaining the circumstances of their conceptions and that we wanted them to know when they were old enough. Then we both signed it and put it in a safe-deposit box in case anything happened to us before we told them. I think the world is a lot more accepting now than back then, but if you want this to be a family secret, the 5 year old is probably too young. But the teenagers should be told ASAP, in my opinion.
I am a mother to 2 DC adults. They are 28 and 31 now. We told them when my son was 12 and daughter was 9. We made it clear to them that their “dad” was their “real father” and loved them very much, but they had the right to know about their biological fathers, too. I am not sure how I would handle it with a 5-year-old. What I did before we felt they were ready to understand was: I wrote it all down in a loving letter to each of them explaining the circumstances of their conceptions and that we wanted them to know when they were old enough. Then we both signed it and put it in a safe-deposit box in case anything happened to us before we told them. I think the world is a lot more accepting now than back then, but if you want this to be a family secret, the 5 year old is probably too young. But the teenagers should be told ASAP, in my opinion.