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That’s what I call crazy. Yes in some countries a donor may win the legal battle, in the USA they discriminate between clinic/non-clinic donations. If he wins the children will then have contact during a number of years. But one day they’ve grown up and will learn how the donor broke his promise to attack the parents. The article also mentions how…[Read more]

Think what you want but what I’m suggesting is not crazy. Here’s a recent story where the ‘donor’ father is winning rights: http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/jurisprudence/2015/02/sperm_donor_parental_rights_new_jersey_lesbian_couple_is_losing_visitation.html.

These children are so young; 1.5 and other still in womb. You’re…[Read more]

@wmdoran, you have a wild imagination. I did never suggest he should have no contact, please read more carefully. I think he should have contact, in a healthy way. But I do oppose your idea of preparing for a legal battle, because how do you think that would affect children?
That’s something which we can not predict with 100% certainty, but we…[Read more]

I’m offering @ellssjay an idea. It sounds like her boyfriend is interested in his children and their ‘friends’ are open to him being part of their lives. This is a pretty complicated situation, calling this man less than altruistic because he desires to be part of his children is reflective of a broken perspective of fatherhood on your part.…[Read more]

Building a case to obtain parental rights?!? Preparing for legal battle, probably a nasty one. Doesn’t sound like that’s what children need.

Well you don’t know me @wmdoran. I made more long-term decisions when I was young, even at the end of primary school. Maybe that’s in my genes 🙂 I also wasn’t hit by the news and due to chronological order…[Read more]

@yfactor it sounds like as a minor you were influenced or heard about sperm ‘donation’, then shortly after hit with the reality of your existence/conception. 18 is a formative age developmentally. I could see your reaction to your news to proliferate yourself but in a more altruistic way than you had been made by being ‘open’. I’m just not…[Read more]

We did get a little off topic. Thanks for commenting back @ellssjay. I’m sorry to hear the stress you are facing as part of this dysfunction. My thoughts are either way the friendship is over. Each party has expectations that are not in line with the other’s. I think the original ‘agreement’ is out the window. Is any of it on paper? Keep all…[Read more]

It’s not just odd, it’s insane. Your boyfriend is being used and lets it happen. But as girlfriend you’re also being affected, emotionally and now also financially. New kid is on the way, probably they expect a third of the costs covered for him too. You also have a right to say something about it. I think he needs to hear the truth: what’s…[Read more]

Well, I didn’t really put this information out there to debate how children are conceived, I just wanted to know if there was a group out there that could help my boyfriend cope with what is a growingly complicated situation. Argruing is kind of pointless as she exists and the deed is committed; so it goes. More insight here: the pictures are now…[Read more]

I guess I made wrong assumptions. Your profile says you found out at age 17 you were ‘donor’ conceived. Are you saying you ‘donated’ your sperm before 17? That doesn’t sound logical.

The way you describe this process is damage control. Minimizing contact to minimize damage. It should make sense that something that is damaging if fully known…[Read more]

Yeah we come from different places. If the genetic father becomes a threat to the family, it’s logical he wants to protect it. However, this does not have to happen. Both are in a way the father, one social/legal and the other genetic. A donor conceived should not have to choose one of them, but should be raised by the social parents and free to…[Read more]

You are coming from a place of belief that it is Ok to create children and families this way with third parties. I am coming from the place that it is damaging to everyone involved as @ellssjay has shared. Creating families this way is an illusion of family but there are consequences. The social parent in this case is not forcing pictures it…[Read more]

I’m not in favor of anything extreme in this matter. Being too close causes damage to the donor in this case, but would probably cause problems for the new family too. I’m not suggesting to cut off communication at all, but to reduce it now to prevent it from being broken. Also not all donor conceived want contact with their donor (I’m not…[Read more]